DEAR DRAGONESS, by Dragoness

Dear Dragoness, I’m a Mouse fur who recently started dating an awesome Leopard. We have a great time together, and I can really see this becoming a serious long term relationship. But lately, I’ve noticed that he seems to get a kick out of cracking jokes about him being a carnivore and me ‘looking good enough to eat’. I’ve been laughing it off, but I was wondering: Do you think I should take it as all in good fun? Or should I be more worried? Could it be that predator/prey relationships just don’t work out in the long run? Mouse from Illinois
	Dear Tasty Treat, Being a carnivore whose mate is an herbivore, I’m on the flip side of your situation. My jackalope and I have our own inside jokes about my being a carnivore—and half of them were started by him! So unless your guy starts rubbing you with marinade, you don’t have anything to worry about. A predator/prey relationship can work out just fine. I suggest my mate’s approach to the situation: Start insisting that Mice are the natural predators of Leopards—so small and quick, those poor kitties don’t know what’s happening ’til it’s too late! The Dragoness

Dear Dragoness, My husband has a few frames of tasteful furry pin-ups hanging in our home office. I have no issue with this, myself, but our families are not comfortable with it. They have more of a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ take on our furdom, and that works fine for us. Usually if my mother is stopping by, I just take the pictures down for the time she’s over and hang them back up before my hubby gets home from work. Recently, though, his parents have announced that they’re coming to visit and want to stay with us for the weekend. How do I convince my husband to take down the pin-ups for a few days? If he doesn’t, I just know that the entire visit will be tense and awkward. Yet he is insistent that this is his home and he can display whatever art he chooses. Help! A Confused Cat in Boston
	Dear Perplexed Feline, Your husband does have a point: It’s his house as well as yours. So both of you do, and should, have a say on how you want the place decorated. And when his parents are over and start to gripe about the pictures, you’d absolutely be in the right if you calmly tell them that there is nothing offensive about the art… but if they’re not comfortable staying in your home with it there, you can suggest a good hotel. It is not their place for them to tell you how to keep your home. If what you’re saying is correct, and they are already aware of your furriness, then they shouldn’t be surprised to see some signs of it portrayed in your decorating choices. All of the above said and acknowledged, personal autonomy isn’t the only issue here; there’s also your respective relationships with his parents to consider. How you balance those issues is for the two of you to decide, but keep in mind that not everyone is comfortable seeing pin-ups (furry or otherwise!) in a friend’s or family member’s home. All in all, I would suggest to your partner that for the duration of his parents’ visit, he might want to consider replacing the pin-ups with anthro art of a less sexually-charged variety, and leave the bathing beauties for a more private collection. The Dragoness

Dear Dragoness, I’m not a fur myself, but my partner of 2 years and the love of my life is. To be clear, I have no problem with this, I love him just the way he is and wouldn’t change a thing. I’ve even grown to love his pet name for me; he calls me his bluebird, since I make him so happy and he loves to hear me sing. But even after 2 years, I still get the feeling he’s not totally convinced that I’m OK with his feathered side (his fursona is a parrot). I would like to get him something to show him that I love him, feathers and all, but they don’t exactly make cards for this situation. Any suggestions? -In love with a bird in Ohio
	Dear Lovebird, First off, your parrot is one lucky fur to have found someone like you in his life! I truly hope you have a long, happy and loving life together. As to your question, The Dragoness thought on this one for a bit and came up with a great idea (well at least she thinks it is, anyway!): If your guy has been a member of the fandom for a while now, then he most likely has an anthro artist he likes. Why not commission them for a drawing of his parrot self sitting with a bluebird on its shoulder? Have a little heart above the bluebird’s head, and you’ll have a beautiful piece of art not only expressing your love for each other, but your total acceptance of his furdom. If he doesn’t have a favorite artist, your favorite Internet search engine is your friend: There are plenty of artists who publicize their art (and willingness to create it for money) with their personal websites, and there are also a number of ‘online galleries’ which display the work of many furry artists—FurAffinity, ArtSpots, FurNation, and the ‘anthro’ section of DeviantArt being only the first four which come to mind. So poke around for a bit and find someone you like. Most artists take commissions, and depending on how much you’re willing to spend, you can get anything from a line drawing to a digital painting. You shouldn’t end up spending more than $100 on it, and that’s if you go all-out. The Dragoness

		Relationships, With Lovers and Otherwise by Dragoness ©2010 Dragoness